This Unbroken Snow (Haiku)

this unbroken snow
swept by a withering wind –
a spider’s last shroud

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Linked to Carpe Diem Little Creatures #14, where Basho’s “Spring Rain” is our inspiration:

spring rain,
leaking through the roof,
dripping from the wasps’ nest

Chèvrefeuille feels that the haiku seems a bit amateur, which is probably an issue with translation.  He offers this alternative translation …

from the hornet’s nest
drips the spring rain
through the leaking roof

… and this Basho-inspired haiku …

from the old Hornet’s nest
drips the spring rain through the leaking roof -
sound of a tap-dancer

Our task was to write a classical haiku:

* 5/7/5 syllables;

* Kireji (cutting word or punctuation);

* Kigo (season word) (here, “withering wind”)

* Interchangeable first and third line;

* Deeper meaning

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The light at the end of our sidewalk always has grapevine around its pole; I change the lights depending on the season and/or holiday.  In changing the lights from “autumn gold” to “Christmas multicolor” I dislodged a hidden spider.  Poor thing!  To survive the sub-zero temps for so long s/he must have been very well-hidden indeed.  Hopefully it can return to its old home – or make a better one – and quickly!  So — that’s why I chose the spider for this poem’s “creepy crawlie” instead of the wasp. 

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